kirizal

2024

At 11:58:48pm on 31st December 2023 i hit play on …Ready For It? by Taylor Swift, as is traditional. W/we’re on the couch in Mx’s house, with bottles on the table and drinks in hand. In the middle of the night, in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you, so I’ll take my…More

A Fair Exchange

W/we bought a bottle of hot sauce at the market – emphasis on hot. It’s made of carolina reaper chillies, which i google in the kitchen after i’ve already smeared it all over two slices of toast and it’s too late to reduce the generous helping i dolloped out. Oops. What follows is the most…More

The Power of Play

i’d been kinky for about two weeks. Or, you know, about thirty-one years depending on how you count it. i’d been doing kink for a couple of weeks, and simmering in my own repression for as long as i could remember before that. So i was feeling some discomfort. i’d just that week had my…More

The Soul of the Sadist

On my partner’s computer in Their home office, there is a row of sticky notes with positive affirmations. Most of them relating to Their work, but one of them stands out as a little different: “I like doing awful things, but that doesn’t make Me an awful person.” i got a question this week in…More

The Price of Admission

When you enter the world of kink, you will see things you don’t want to see. That’s an almost unavoidable part of it – at least, if you engage in any form of kink community. Whether online or in person, however carefully you curate your spaces – through blocking, tag filters, and being selective about…More

This is O/our Place, W/we Make the Rules

i outgrew Christmas around the time i outgrew Christ. Let’s clarify – i’m not anti faith, i have a faith now, actually. It’s not the one i was raised with but it’s important in just the same way my parents’ faith is to them. i’m not even anti religion – organised religion can become corrupt,…More

Something Good and Right and Real

met You in October, i had nothing to lose i’m in a certain mood in October 2023. That mood is violent, realistic, brutal CNC. i don’t particularly care to analyse if that’s a good or bad response to heartbreak but it’s the one i’m having, and i’m finding some delightfully nasty individuals online to deliver.…More

The Risk and the Reward

People sometimes ask what the most extreme or dangerous kinks i have are. i’m known for playing pretty hard and definitely a lot of what i enjoy has physical or psychological risks and pushes me to the edge of what i can take. So is it the blood play, the burning? Is it the trauma…More

Waffles and FRIES

Consent is sexy. No, we don’t say that anymore – consent is essential. Consent is always a clear yes or a no and that’s simple and obvious – so simple and obvious here’s 14 different acronyms for consent models you can follow, a blog post explaining it, and a lesson plan for schools. So where…More

As Sick as our Secrets

In 2017 i was having a crisis. To be more accurate, from birth until around age 30 i was having a crisis, but in 2017 i was having a more crisisy crisis. The big season finale of The Crisis. i’d progressed rapidly through the various feeling-suppressing options that street pharmacists had to offer at an…More