About me
kirizal (they/them)
Chronic overthinker always looking for an outlet for the overflowing contents of my brain. i started sharing my life, thoughts, and opinions on Tiktok in 2021 with a focus mainly on coming to terms with an exploring my BDSM identity. People seemed to like it, but the algorithm doesn’t always – and there’s only so much i can cram into an attention span friendly video so i’m taking a crack at blogging. i also recently started a podcast with my partner, Don’t Scare the Newbies!
i’m in my mid-thirties, nonbinary, a cat parent, chaotic Build a Bear collector, and as well as kink i often have thoughts on trauma, addiction, communication and relationships. Expect a jumble of everything! i live with my partner and O/our two cats in County Durham – which i call the wilderness, after 15 years of living in Newcastle – and in my spare time i crochet, walk, and get beaten up in dungeons.
Blog
- 2025: Audacity and Silver Threadsit’s 4am when my alarm goes off – the first one. i’m one of those people, i regret to inform you. Five alarms to punctuate what i insist is a lie in, and Mx just thinks is deranged behaviour (“a lie in is when you sleep,” They say). At 5am i twist in the dark to see the…More
- Fill This Ghost Town Up With LightFrom my kink journal, Nov 14th 2023. Written without capitalisation protocol, because W/we didn’t have that yet. i’m in Paphos again now, with my love beside me, and wanted to share how i felt when this first started. It’s 25 degrees in Paphos, and vodka is €9.50 a litre. The hedges surrounding my villa for…More
- Not Friends (Ain’t That The Worst Thing You Ever Heard?)Not friends, no we’re somewhere in between, cause you’re awful and I miss you and I killed you in my dreams last night… “What are you saying, baby boy?” The voice is distorted and crackling through the speaker. “What are you muttering?” i stare into the camera lense and continue mouthing the words under my…More
Don’t Scare the Newbies!
me and my partner started O/our podcast in September 2025, and so far W/we’re having so much fun. Follow the link below to learn more about Don’t Scare the Newbies! and find out about all the places you can listen along.
Don’t Scare the Newbies! is nominated for The Alternative Awards! Please vote for U/us by liking the post on their official instagram HERE.
Don’t Scare the Newbies! Info Page
Protocol
You might notice some weird grammar in my posts! My partner and i have a D/s relationship with some strict protocol on how W/we speak to and about each other, as well as other daily rituals and routines that help keep U/us connected to O/our roles.
One of these protocols is about capitalisation. All pronouns referring to me are lower case, along with my name, and all pronouns referring to my partner start with a capital letter. For pronouns that refer to U/us both – like W/we, O/our – the duplicated first letter allows the same protocol to apply.
No one except U/us needs to use it – so no, you don’t have to They and Them my partner (but please do they and them my partner, They’re nonbinary too!), but if you think i’ve made a grammar mistake in a post… you’re probably right, but the lower case i isn’t it!
kirizal talks kink 