it’s 4am when my alarm goes off – the first one. i’m one of those people, i regret to inform you. Five alarms to punctuate what i insist is a lie in, and Mx just thinks is deranged behaviour (“a lie in is when you sleep,” They say). At 5am i twist in the dark to see the…More
Author Archives: kirizal
Fill This Ghost Town Up With Light
From my kink journal, Nov 14th 2023. Written without capitalisation protocol, because W/we didn’t have that yet. i’m in Paphos again now, with my love beside me, and wanted to share how i felt when this first started. It’s 25 degrees in Paphos, and vodka is €9.50 a litre. The hedges surrounding my villa for…More
Not Friends (Ain’t That The Worst Thing You Ever Heard?)
Not friends, no we’re somewhere in between, cause you’re awful and I miss you and I killed you in my dreams last night… “What are you saying, baby boy?” The voice is distorted and crackling through the speaker. “What are you muttering?” i stare into the camera lense and continue mouthing the words under my…More
The Quiet Ones
Last week, W/we started a podcast. A podcast has been something that people in the comments section of my Tiktok have been asking for for the last three years, probably the most common comment i get (second only to “you need therapy” when i go viral on the wrong side of that cursed app), but…More
Sixty-Five
There are three of me present here, outside of time in the breath between blows. we stand in the scent of pine and urine, in wet boots and shaking legs. Simultaneously, the me from before sits in the car rolling a cigarette and says – “i want You to push me. i want to find…More
Gasp
This needs a disclaimer – this post is about waterboarding, which is undoubtedly edgeplay with serious risks even when done as safely as possible. This post is not instructive on how to do it – it’s about my first experience so clearly i am not qualified to teach it, nor would i want to take…More
A Submissive Act
There are lies my mind still tells me because they used to be true. “i can’t cum more than once,” for one. “It takes me ages to cum. It’s hard work to make me cum. i’m difficult and too much work and less desirable because i don’t work like a normal person.” The list goes…More
The Rollercoaster: Life Without Safewords
i have written before about this topic, and will no doubt return to it again. Kink without safewords is – understandably – a controversial and fairly niche topic that is often misunderstood and stigmatised. If i’m going to open my life up to public view to try to beat down stigma around kink then this…More
Two Word-Bits
Being made more bimbo has, until now, mostly been about the look. The body, the face, the hair, the scent, the tan, the clothes. The – no, can’t say that word. Too many word-bits. The… the… no, i can’t think of an instead one. But tonight is the first night W/we are really playing with…More
Because They Can: All About O/our Rules
W/we had O/our first date a few days earlier, and for O/our second date Mx suggests a walk at Gibside. It’s November, so the skies are grey and the autumn leaves have become wet mush underfoot, giving way to ankle deep mud as W/we climb into the hills – there are prettier times of year…More
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