Bimbo In Progress

It’s dark and quiet when Mx unlocks my ankle chain that restricts my range of movement to the bedroom and bathroom. They don’t need to get up for another hour and They’re half asleep as the lock clicks open and the chain clinks, sliding to the floor in the low light. i don’t start work for two hours either – but i have things to do. Bimbo hours. Let’s fucking go.

Well – first things first. i pad downstairs in a dressing gown for all important caffeine, nicotine, and to get dinner started in the slow cooker. Bimbo tasks don’t replace my existing requirements as Mx’s submissive – i chop kangaroo meat, peppers, chillies, onion and garlic, add kidney beans, spices, tomato purée, and stock, and flick the switch. i’ve been craving my favourite chilli recipe since i stopped eating beef a couple of months ago so W/we’re going adventurous with it tonight.

Upstairs i set up in the bathroom. i slick the top of my hair back into two bunches and work styling spray through the lengths until shapeless fluff becomes loose glossy waves. i moisturise and makeup – light contour, bronzer, blush, neutral eyes and a glittery pink lip. Until recently it had been years since i wore makeup, but i still know how to make a quick routine look heavier than it is – and that’s definitely the goal here, nothing natural about me.

Mx shambles out of the bedroom with sleepy eyes and comes in for a sticky lip-gloss kiss.

“Any instructions for what i wear today, Mx?” i ask.

“Not today – you can choose what you like,” They say – which, of course, isn’t quite true. There’s rules in place for that. But within a range i have free rein and it’s been a few days since i dressed myself.

i pick out a pink set – velvet shorts, crop top and cropped hoodie, along with a tiny black thong and black bra from the approved section of my underwear drawer. Mx has already vanished downstairs so i dress and then follow Them to present for approval. i make a mental note to bring that up at rules review – presenting before dressing sounds great in theory but W/we’ve not been sticking to it and O/our morning routines just don’t align that way.

The me in the mirror is a tanned creation of curves and pink and glitter. A work in progress, but already dramatically changed. How did W/we get here?

“I don’t want to add too much too fast,” Mx says as W/we look over the list of notes. It’s New Year’s Day and W/we’re creating the structure of what will become the bimbofication element of O/our dynamic.

“It’s not that much new,” i point out. And it isn’t – W/we have rules covering exercise, some dietary control, and i already ask for instructions before i dress and require permission to make permanent or semi-permanent changes to my appearance. “This is just tightening things up, giving You more control.”

This is always the way with new rules – Mx loves the control but Their gentle nature and protective instincts can sometimes push against Their dominance. They offer a softening of discipline while i, unashamedly, like it hard. W/we discuss the details, and over the next day or so They write up and formalise the following tweaks:

2. Appearance 

2.1 pig will wear an approved bra at all times, except for sleeping.

2.2 pig will wear proper clothes every day. it will ask its Owner if They have any preferences or requirements for outfits and will present their outfit for approval prior to dressing. Where no specific instruction is given, pig should give consideration to making itself as sexually appealing to its Owner as possible.

[…]

2.6 pig will ensure its hair is presentable at all times and will style its hair every day. it will not allow its hair to remaingreasy for more than 24 hours. it may not use a hat to cover up its hair without permission from its Owner. 

[…]

2.8 pig will maintain well-manicured and painted finger nails at all times, re-painting all nails at least fortnightly using colours approved by its Owner.

2.9 Chipped nails are not acceptable. Chipped nails must be repaired at the earliest opportunity. 

[…]

2.11 pig will wear make up as and when instructed to do so by its Owner. it will maintain an appropriate collection of make up in accordance with its Owners preferences.

2.12 pig will maintain a tan at all times. it will use Melanotan injections once weekly which will be administered by its Owner, and at least one session on a tanning bed per week. Where possible, pig will maintain tan lines by using a g-string and small bikini top when using the tanning bed.

2.13 pig will maintain lip fillers of at least 1ml volume at all times.

2.14 pig will submit to any permanent or semi-permanent changes to its appearance as directed by its Owner. This includes but is not limited to: haircuts, tattoos, piercings, cosmetic procedures, or body modifications of any kind. pig may also request any of these changes or procedures and may offer opinions on those proposed by its Owner, but itsOwner’s decision is final.

2.15 pig will maintain its Owners cunt by shaving all hair and keeping it smooth at all times. 

3. Diet and Exercise 

3.1 pig will eat at least one proper meal each day (snacks, sweet treats, coffee, and monster do not count as a proper meal). Pig will send a picture of all food it eats when not with its Owner.

3.2 pig will set a realistic and appropriate calorie intake goal for each day, and will actively monitor this. pig will inform its Owner of any changes to the goal, and will present current or historic calorie intakes to its Owner immediately on demand. 

3.3 pig is allowed one day per week where it is not required to track calorie intake which must be agreed with its Owner. 

[…]

3.5 pig will create and follow an appropriate exercise routine to achieve and maintain the following goals: a) a slim waist, b) a visually appealing round butt, and c) increasing overall fitness and strength. 

3.6 During weeks when pig is working 8am-4pm or 10am-6pm it will complete a minimum of 3 hours of exercise Monday to Friday. During weeks when pig is working 9am-5pm it will complete a minimum of 3 exercise sessions Monday to Friday.

So, maybe it is quite a lot! But it’s a lot that i want. i am always looking to be challenged in my submission – pushed, worked hard. i don’t just want to be called a good boy, i like to earn my praise. When i believe it, know it, and hear it in Mx’s voice and know i deserve it nothing else matters in the world. And i will be a good boy, a good pig, a good bimbo for Them. i will be Their creation, Their fuckdoll, Their slave. Anything They ask is what i desire. i read over the rules again and again and my skin tingles. This is going to be fun.

There are some challenges – the lip filler will have to wait until mid-March thanks to a scheduled operation i’m having at the end of January. i’ve used Melanotan tanning injections before but i was younger and fitter then and the side effects during the initial ten day loading phase kick my ass. The first ten days of my bimbofication are clouded with a pounding headache that won’t shift no matter what. Mx drives me to the local tanning shop and i shuffle through ankle deep snow and come out more and more bronzed each time, flashing my tan lines in the passenger seat on the way home. Bumping up my exercise while drastically unfit and pumped full of a questionable unlicensed medication is brutal and i nap hard most evenings. But i don’t take Their offer of a slackening of the rules – the challenge is what i want.

W/we sort through my clothes i already have, and there’s more to work with than expected. i tend to drift to baggy, comfy, and dark colours if left to my own devices but over the last year with Mx i have branched out a little. i learned fast that They have a particular weakness for tight pants and push up bras, and i’m more than happy to indulge. The quickest way to end up shoved face down and fucked hard and rough is to potter about in tiny shorts and flash some cleavage. But my choices are limited, and i have no makeup at all – W/we’ll need to shop.

So shop W/we do. W/we spend an evening browsing online and fill up virtual baskets with pink and red and tight and trashy, and when the weekend comes W/we head out to buy a full range of makeup. Last time i wore makeup was around three years ago and i haven’t worn it regularly in even longer – but i can’t wait to get started.

How i look changes slowly – the chemically enhanced tan is fast but body sculpting will take months, and the new clothes crawl their way to us through shipping delays. But something shifts – between U/us and inside me – almost immediately.

Mx has had the right to control what i wear for months but rarely used it – now it’s rare They don’t. Every morning it’s “scrunch butt leggings please” or “crop top and skinny jeans today”. Simple things like getting dressed, applying perfume, or doing my hair start to feel different – more intentional, more mindful, more exciting. Most of the time, the rules i follow and rituals W/we have don’t feel sexual – play, my chains, and my nightly worship of Their feet do, but getting dressed, doing the dishes, or opening the door for Them do not. The new “bimbo tasks” are hot in ways i hadn’t expected, as i slick on lipgloss or flip my hair in the mirror i feel my focus narrowing onto Them and Their desire. i am hot for Them and that heat spreads, pools, drives me insane.

W/we’d agreed to focus on the physical transformation first, with mental aspects to come. But those mental aspects come, unexpected, as i feel my headspace change. It’s not about stupidity – at least, not for U/us. It’s about simplification and focus – my mind is consumed with being the object of Their desire and every action i take is aligned with Their creative vision as They remake me.

It’s a little like poppers, i think. They put me on my knees and pump the acrid chemical scent into my gas mask and as They stroke Their cock in front of me i drool, shake, moan untouched. All that exists is Their body, and O/our needs. Nothing else exists. Bimbofication feels like that but coherent – i’m cockstupid but functional as i do butt-building workouts on the bedroom floor, wiggle into clingy fabrics, and slide my pink glittered nails into my gel lamp to cure.

Mx is affected too – and it would be easy to assume it’s a consequence of me being more attractive but They’re clear from day one that that’s not what it’s about. They would still want me in no makeup, greasy hair (They confess one day that They can’t actually tell when it’s greasy most of the time), pyjamas and all. Yes, a good bra and some skin on show doesn’t hurt my chances, but They were never unsatisfied with my looks. It’s not about the result but the process, not the aesthetic in itself but the control it represents. The eroding of my autonomy to make me a sex object, the hooks of Their influence in my mind making me more and more Theirs. That’s what’s got Them going, and They can’t keep Their hands off me. W/we fuck more times than i can count and They are generous with my orgasms, Their urge to tease and deny temporarily overridden by Their need to touch me.

Play takes on new dimensions too. One evening They have me kneel in front of Their laptop while W/we watch bimbo porn. This was easier than the challenge i’m still psyching myself up for to choose porn to watch during play – nothing of my private preferences come into play, the porn is there as a point of comparison, a tool for stimulation, conditioning, and degradation. Mx brings poppers to my nose, Their voice is warm against my ear as They compare my body to the performers on screen, They switch between encouragement for my transformation and cruel comments on my lack of progress. Both drive my frenzy of submission and need. They edge me mercilessly, and i’m shaking, almost sobbing each time They pull Their hand away. They use my ass, gripping a fistful of my hair and forcing my face almost against the screen and i’m overstimulated in all the best ways with pain, pleasure, lights and colours and sounds and smells. The world narrows further and i am just a thing to fuck, just a body, no thoughts only want.

Around this point people who’ve followed me a while are probably wondering how the fuck this works with my gender identity and my sense of body image. i’ve written before – not long ago – about how traditionally “sexy” clothing can feel challenging for me. But it is working, i feel good, i feel comfortable, and i’m starting to figure out why.

The femininity i perform as a bimbo is exaggerated to the point my brain doesn’t register it as woman. It may well look that way to other people – but that’s not been my concern for years, my view is that other people’s perception of my gender is none of my business. When i feel like i’m presenting female, i feel like i’m not myself and i don’t like it. When i feel androgynous, i feel good regardless of how others see it. And this? This feels like something else entirely – i am presenting as a living blow-up doll, i am presenting as an idea, as a concept of sexuality and sluttiness. i’m performing femininity in an over the top way that feels more like drag than anything else.

Mx, as is often the way, is a lot more cautious than me. They have put no controls over my body or facial hair (aside from cunt-shaving, which W/we discussed early on and i much prefer anyway). When i made the decision to shave my face to make makeup easier, They happily approved it but also checked in repeatedly to make sure it felt okay. They are discussing with me often how i feel regarding gender identity and presentation, and i have reassurance. Both reassurance that W/we can stop or change course if i need to, but more importantly reassurance that They – as a fellow nonbinary person – understand that none of this invalidates who i am. That i am still Their good boy.

So it’s today, and morning routine done i return to the kitchen for a last pre-work smoke. i put on my new playlist full of music that sounds how my bimbo headspace feels. i bop happily around the kitchen wiggling my velvet-clothed butt until Mx rewards me with a good hard spank. Later, i’ll prep my top-up tanning shot, hit the sunbeds, and touch up a chip in my bastard nails – they’ve needed repairs most days so far. i’m thinking a quick yoga session at lunch time, and a sandwich. Hair wash day, too, and i have laundry to do. my days fill with Their rules, O/our protocols, my constant urge to give more, do better, to be everything i can be under Their direction and care. There is so much still to come, and i’m excited for the journey.